Given how Pacha seem to be slowly approaching world domination in
anything that is even vaguely connected to the entertainment industry, I
think I may have hit upon a new revenue stream they haven’t yet thought
of: PACHA PUBS
There’s a recession on. Not everyone can afford clubbing. Moreover, look
how popular and how much cooler darts has become in recent years. There
is definitely an opportunity to open up Pacha Pubs across the UK. They
could do a special, celebratory, 2011 Sunday Roast, (served on Mondays)
with a side helping of Swedes, where the side-helping costs more than
the roast itself but hardly ever turns up. Every Thursday, all
Pacha pubs would have a special, French-themed, cheese-tasting evening
and on Fridays the staff could deliberately fuck everything up and serve
wrong drinks etc. for their “It’s all gone Pete Tong” special.
Pacha always have one eye on brand association so Pacha Pubs would have
to sponsor international darts tournaments, where the iconic Pacha
cherries were changed to dart boards. The darts would all have Pacha
flights and a special range of Jim Bowen, Pacha T-shirts could be sold.
Possibly the biggest opportunity though would be a Pacha brewery with a
range of themed beers: Tiesto’s Speckled-Cock; Luciano’s Bitter (or
maybe that’s just a rumour); Dunmore’s Stout (not his fault, overactive
thyroid); Pete Tong’s Old & Peculiar… sure you get the idea. Of
course, every brewery needs a flagship beer so in honour of his
Pacha pedigree it would have to be Morillo’s Mild.
Obviously though, it would only be sold in half-pints…