Given how Pacha seem to be slowly approaching world domination in anything
that is even vaguely connected to the entertainment industry, I think I
may have hit upon a new revenue stream they haven’t yet thought
of: PACHA PUBS
There’s a recession on. Not everyone can afford clubbing. Moreover, look
how popular and how much cooler darts has become in recent years. There is
definitely an opportunity to open up Pacha Pubs across the UK. They could
do a special, celebratory, 2011 Sunday Roast, (served on Mondays) with a
side helping of Swedes, where the side-helping costs more than the roast
itself but hardly ever turns up. Every Thursday, all Pacha pubs would
have a special, French-themed, cheese-tasting evening and on Fridays the
staff could deliberately fuck everything up and serve wrong drinks etc.
for their “It’s all gone Pete Tong” special.
Pacha always have one eye on brand association so Pacha Pubs would have to
sponsor international darts tournaments, where the iconic Pacha cherries
were changed to dart boards. The darts would all have Pacha flights and a
special range of Jim Bowen, Pacha T-shirts could be sold. Possibly the
biggest opportunity though would be a Pacha brewery with a range of themed
beers: Tiesto’s Speckled-Cock; Luciano’s Bitter (or maybe that’s just a
rumour); Dunmore’s Stout (not his fault, overactive thyroid); Pete Tong’s
Old & Peculiar… sure you get the idea. Of course, every brewery
needs a flagship beer so in honour of his Pacha pedigree it would have to
be Morillo’s Mild.
Obviously though, it would only be sold in half-pints…